carry on teaching (excerpt)
(1st and 2nd
years not beyond and not
an age preference just defence
by thirteen you’re a
different animal
another self kicks in kicks against)
he knew who he could touch
experience a skill
a radar of recognition
the blips on his screen one of which was you
he would have picked you out
called you out to the front
to his desk
to question your sums your figures
whilst the others were to
carry on
there’s no trauma forgotten
by playtime
just the memory to parse a boy’s grammar
not a moment nothing written on the skin of time
his hand resting lightly
unmoving on your arse
your own tense muscular
reflexes feeding
the electric current of his
impulse pulsing
and at home alone in his
study marking
his wife upstairs in bed
alone in front of the TV
the children doing their homework
in their rooms
the Polaroids in his
diary the days blank with wanting
in one there’s Tommy Atkins
across his knees
smiling into the camera you’re all smiling posed
the teacher beaming his hand
poised for the slap
you press the button snap and you’re all caught
in a bit of fun for his uncle/brother/friend in Australia
the picture in your hand
develops slowly remains
unresolved your story
what this says about you
then and now
in the bathroom he washes his
hands washes his hands
before going into his
kids the kiss goodnight
tucking them in safe and
tight don’t let the bedbugs bite
his hand resting lightly on the
softness of a cheek
the warmth of the breath on
his fingers
