board game – in mitigation (from the trial)
exhibit 14
he can’t get inside this family
he doesn’t remember which piece he is
he can see the idea of it but not quite
how it fits together
he used to be son James
and there was mother and father
and the pieces moved to the rolls of their
dice
and the game moved along nicely everyone
passing go
but on the side they were John and Mary
living outside the game
alter egos stepping in and out which
seemed against the rules
the top hat after all was the top hat
and he was the racing car
and then he began to become Jimmy or Jim
when he left the house
or even the room they were in James was good at school Jimmy smoked weed
and Jim put his hand down Susan Smith’s
knickers John went to work but Johnny
played the guitar alone in the bedroom had
a stack of porn under the bed
Mary cooked up three a day yummy dozed on the sofa in the slow afternoons
was a whizz at bingo longing for the snowball a purse full of change for the fruit machine
the one-armed bandit payout what a wheeze JamesJimmyJim counting coins comes on
his tummy lies still steals close to mummy stares at the ceiling notes a sense a fear of the
failing of a fix the loaded dice rolling to a six
the car skidding out of control going over the edge falling just a few feet not far into a
ditch
the engine running turning over then stalling the foot slowly uselessly releasing the
clutch
