board game

 

board game – in mitigation (from the trial)

exhibit 14

 

he can’t get inside this family

he doesn’t remember which piece he is

he can see the idea of it but not quite how it fits together

he used to be son   James   and there was mother and father

and the pieces moved to the rolls of their dice

and the game moved along nicely everyone passing go

but on the side they were John and Mary living outside the game

alter egos stepping in and out which seemed against the rules

the top hat after all was the top hat and he was the racing car

 

and then he began to become Jimmy or Jim when he left the house

or even the room they were in    James was good at school   Jimmy smoked weed

and Jim put his hand down Susan Smith’s knickers   John went to work but Johnny

played the guitar alone in the bedroom had a stack of porn under the bed

Mary cooked up three a day   yummy   dozed on the sofa in the slow afternoons 

was a whizz at bingo longing for the snowball a purse full of change for the fruit machine 

the one-armed bandit payout what a wheeze   JamesJimmyJim counting coins   comes on 

his tummy   lies still  steals close to mummy   stares at the ceiling notes a sense a fear of the 

failing of a fix   the loaded dice rolling to a six

 

the car skidding out of control   going over the edge   falling   just a few feet not far   into a 

ditch

the engine running turning over   then stalling   the foot slowly   uselessly   releasing the 

clutch