And the winner is ...

And the winner is …

 

Imagine all the jigsaw puzzles

not yet in their boxes

all those pieces

loose upon

littering

the floor

 

Imagine time’s fingers busy

ceaselessly filling

box after box

innocently

randomly

spore

after

spore

 

Imagine that most times

the pieces in a box do

not fit together

to create

a picture

a window

or a door

an after

a before

 

Imagine two people in the dark

night after night   year after

year century after century

searching or not to find

a box   any old box 

unlucky     lucky

the accidental

incidental

puzzle

of

you

 

WARNING: The finished puzzle may vary from the picture on the box lid.  Contains fragile pieces which may easily be damaged if forced to fit in. No responsibility can be accepted for poor assemblage.  Once the box is opened, the goods cannot be returned unless there are exceptionable circumstances. Under no circumstances can the goods be exchanged. 

other lives

other lives

other people have lives that come at them

like a knife attack in the dark

other people have lives that chase them 

across continents   where

there is the stark truth of no escape

still others live with the ghosts of the dead

being kicked around in their heads

there are other people who have a life

that is like gripping the blade of the knife

clinging to the undercarriage of the world

unfurled

 

and there are others who on a Saturday evening

standing before the mirror having checked their hair

pat their pockets   money   keys   cigarettes   knife

 

imagine the view

snapshot

snapshot

 

he feels convinced that if he just keeps watching

he will see her turn away from the party

from the unseen person who is making her laugh

see her leave the kitchen and make her way

up the dark narrow staircase

there would be a creak near the top

she would tiptoe along the landing

to his bedroom door   left ajar

streetlight washed against the curtains

to watch him sleeping

 

and though he is awake

he doesn’t open his eyes

he doesn’t know why   so

somehow she’s still watching and

she’s still in the kitchen still laughing

at that joke of someone unseen   happy

the light still streaming through the aperture

into the now unshuttered eye   transforming

the chemical memory of time’s camera   

he still listens for the sound

that creak of a stair

a footstep coming up, a footstep going down

she’ll be there always now 

At some point

 At some point

 

he moved into the attic of himself

taking a sliver of a broken mirror

some string a knife and a torch

 

leaving a framed photograph of himself

centre-squared on the living room wall

facing the window where the world carried on

 

in the photo he was twenty-one face fair

undefeated   in good bodily health

with all to come and still to be done  so there

 

in the poor soothing light of the loft

he would angle to catch the soft dregs of sunshine

he would measure the reduction of shadows

 

in knotted lengths slicing through time

he would illuminate the rucked surface of dark corners

the seduction of how crooked timber lies

 

and he would remember nothing straight

still seeing through a young man’s eyes

the beauty cornered   startled   the fear   the hate

Bematist

 

Bematist   

 

Sisyphus calculating counting

pacing taking the measure of

the world from Alexandria

to the here and now sees

the shadow reducing

along the curvature

of the earth only

then to light up

the darkness

a moment

of water

caught

a well

slick

and

an

I

1

reflected on a shimmering surface   staring back   gone

Sisyphus

Eratosthenes

Bematist

broken

 

broken

 

after the party

where something had happened

something in a cupboard some permission

something that made him think his luck was in

he walks her home in the rain

walking together alone

up the long slow hill of Ashby Lane

him wanting his end of the unspoken bargain

to begin   her wandering to the end of her skin

 

a passing car’s headlights picks them out

the sudden change of size   then gone  

then the slow turning turning away   

of the unseen driver’s eyes 

     

suddenly she too wants it done with

she can’t explain can’t put it into words

the submission

she’s falling under the wheels again

letting him lead her on

towards the slow uncoiling of humiliation

where she has to pay out enough rope

something is to be given   taken

through a gate   down a garden path

half-lit under trees   down on her already

tattered coat spread beneath them   

underneath them the cold slippery cement

of somebody’s property   somebody’s dream

some other family’s sleeping lamentable darkness

they sell themselves   each other   cheaply   as broken

his eyes are shut tight      hers are wide open   starless

Souvenir

Souvenir

 

There is upstairs in the spare room

in a cupboard upon a shelf

out of reach and gathering dust

a broken jar

which he can no longer fill

with salves such as pity, love, hope or self

 

The skin and what is within is dry and cracked,

the conscience flaked, peeled away, still

the view from the window is of a raw sky

bloody   flayed   glorious    of and in itself